How to Help People With Their Dilemmas

I’m taking a quick break from presenting dilemmas today to go a bit deeper into how to help people who are dealing with ordinary or extraordinary issues in your life. Use Triage to Help People “Triage” is a medical term that means to divide people into three groups based on medical necessity. It has been adopted in customer service to help retail workers manage requests and deal with them effectively. We’ll be using the customer service version of triage. In customer service, there are three (and a half) categories of answers you might give a customer: “Sure, let me do …

Human Rights Day: What One Thing Would You Change?

Human Rights are a Dilemma for Everyone Today, in honor of Human Rights Day, instead of solving an individual dilemma, I have a different idea. What is one issue that is considered “human rights” that you devote a lot of time and energy to and why? What would be an ideal outcome for your efforts? My Chosen Human Rights Improvement: I had to think long and hard on this one, because there are so many issues under the umbrella of human rights that are near and dear to my heart. So I focused on finding one action that could lift …

#1 Dilemma: Starting a New Project and I Hope it Succeeds

Here’s the first dilemma I’m proposing, and this is one I’m facing as I write this: “I am starting a new project where I ask a community I don’t really even have yet to answer questions that other folks ask and help them figure out how to handle their dilemmas. “The problem is that I’m scared no one will show up. I’m just starting out and I hope this succeeds, because if it succeeds it could help a whole lot of people. What advice do you have for me?”-NJ- General things to keep in mind when helping with dilemmas: Validate …

Criticism is not Force, It’s An Opportunity

Criticism is not force. Over on @tblizzy’s Tiktok, she has been doing a lot of amazing accomplice work with transfolk. She has been standing up for them against an onslaught of straight men who got extremely fragile and angry in her comments. They claimed she was “forcing” them to date trans women. Because she was pointing out that, parts aside* refusing to date trans women even if there is no external evidence they are trans is transphobia. @tblizzy may have singlehandedly inspired the “super straight” pseudo-identity. (More on that later). *(you can make a case that a preference for certain …

Why Is the “Rule of Law” Important to My Mental Health?

what is the rule of law and why does it matter?  The rule of law is: “a situation in which the laws of a country are obeyed by everyone The courts uphold the rule of law.” In a country that follows the rule of law, the laws and penalties are the same for everyone. Under that definition, there isn’t a country in the world that is entirely following the rule of law. A lot of countries, maybe even most, believe in it and work towards it, however, and that is important. When people are able to go around the law if they are rich …

How the “Wellness” Industry Promotes Eating Disorders

I’m about to tell you a personal story about eating disorders I woke up this morning to this headline from the New York Times: “Smash the Wellness Industry: Why are so many smart women falling for its harmful, pseudoscientific claims?” , which discusses the author’s own struggle with eating disorders. Because the Times is behind a paywall, I’ll summarize. The author, a novelist named Jessica Knoll,  spent most of her adult life going on one diet after another, following the advice of dieticians,  doctors, and whatever fad of the week diet was being promoted. It wasn’t until she found a …

Microfiction: Diana, Shots, and Glass

Diana, Shots, and Glass (“Shots and Glass” is a sequel to Diana and the Donald)  Diana collapsed into the antique sofa in her living room and turned off the news. The lasso had worked. He’d admitted it all: The rapes of women and girls, the Russian conspiracy, the criminal ties, the obstruction of justice, the fact that he was deeply in debt with a negative net worth. All for the cameras. All shared and Tweeted all over the world. And for nothing. His handlers went to work. He’d been tired, they said. It’s okay when he does it, they said. …

On Boundaries: Defining Boundaries

Let’s Start By Defining Boundaries:  Prentis Hemphill defines boundaries like this: “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”  Of all the definitions of interpersonal boundaries I’ve seen, I love this one best.  Wikipedia provides an expanded definition that covers much what I’m covering here. “Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits”. I will add that boundaries work both ways. If we are defining boundaries that others …

[Purely Political]: Everything is Political

Everything is Political My friend Kate Johnston has a friend that challenges her introductory college classes to find a subject that has no political implications. The idea made me grin.  Therefore, I immediately stole the idea and asked my friends on Facebook to give me ideas for “difficult” subjects to link to politics. This video covers three of them: chocolate, dog toenail clippers, and yarn.