Calling In Loved Ones Who Are Doing Harm
I have talked a lot about this over the years and I will continue to. Most of the harm people do stems from lack of skill, emotional pain, or from lack of information or perspective. Over the Trump years, nascent splits in families became what felt like unbridgeable divides. And there are a lot of people in the world grieving those they love. Grieving those who are cheering on Trump and Q in racist and misogynist and homophobic and transphobic words and actions. So, “calling in” means to “find a mutual sense of understanding across difference”. Calling out can be quick and somewhat brutal and is designed to stop immediate harm. However, calling in is the work of expanding skill, helping that person build empathy, and changing the way people act over time.
Who To Call In
I have other videos out there talking about this, so I’ll be brief. The bottom line, is you call in people that aren’t a direct threat to your emotional or financial well-being, people who have had value in your life. In other words, people you miss. You spend your energy calling in people you want to call in because you want them in your life.
Who Does the Calling In?
In short: privileged people. The hard work of rehabilitating people who cause harm over time to people less privileged than them is not a job for the person being marginalized. I mean, sure, they can do it, but it’s a natural fit for more privileged people who say they want to help. It’s a great opportunity to prove they want to help.
The Benefits of Calling People In:
And this is the meat of this particular video: When we call in people we love, people we feel safe(r) having these conversations with, our lives improve. Their lives improve.