Ousting the Secret-Teller: Why the Person Who Reports the Abuse Gets Banished

On how the secret-teller who reveals abuse gets pushed or urged out of a group, and how to protect yourself as this happens.  Ousting the Secret-Teller: Why the Person Who Reports the Abuse Gets Banished If you have been abused by a family member, a friend in your close friendship group, a leader or member in your religious group, or a boss or co-worker in a workplace, you have probably experienced the pain of attempting tell or warn others in the group about the behavior of your abuser, only to have the group ice you out, tell you confidently that …

The Shark Cage Metaphor: Spotting Potential Abusers

What is the Shark Cage Metaphor? The Shark Cage Metaphor is the brainchild of Ursula Benstead, a psychologist practicing in Melbourne, Australia.   We often find ways to blame victims for their own abuse, without taking into account the behavior of abusers. The Shark Cage metaphor puts the responsibility for abuse squarely where it belongs while providing survivors and potential victims with tools to build their “shark cages”.  She tells a story to illustrate the idea that goes as follows:  the shark enters the bar Of course, in Ms. Benstead’s example, it’s a pub, because she’s in Australia. The “shark” is …