Why Is the “Rule of Law” Important to My Mental Health?

what is the rule of law and why does it matter?  The rule of law is: “a situation in which the laws of a country are obeyed by everyone The courts uphold the rule of law.” In a country that follows the rule of law, the laws and penalties are the same for everyone. Under that definition, there isn’t a country in the world that is entirely following the rule of law. A lot of countries, maybe even most, believe in it and work towards it, however, and that is important. When people are able to go around the law if they are rich …

What Happens When You’re Hotlined For Child Abuse?

What Happens When You’re Hotlined for Child Abuse? This article applies to the United States, as I don’t know the laws and procedures in other countries.  Hotlines for child abuse or neglect feel horrible and terrifying. I know this as a therapist and as a mother. My oldest son “failed to thrive” so his doctor hotlined a couple of times thinking I wasn’t feeding him. Further, his father thought it was great fun to hotline me every time we had a disagreement over parenting. Before long I knew the routine in my sleep. “Yes, come right in.” “Sure, look in …

How the “Wellness” Industry Promotes Eating Disorders

I’m about to tell you a personal story about eating disorders I woke up this morning to this headline from the New York Times: “Smash the Wellness Industry: Why are so many smart women falling for its harmful, pseudoscientific claims?” , which discusses the author’s own struggle with eating disorders. Because the Times is behind a paywall, I’ll summarize. The author, a novelist named Jessica Knoll,  spent most of her adult life going on one diet after another, following the advice of dieticians,  doctors, and whatever fad of the week diet was being promoted. It wasn’t until she found a …

On Boundaries: Scripts for Setting Your Material Boundaries

Boundaries: Four Levels and Four Circumstances In the article I published earlier this week on physical boundaries, I went into great detail about the four levels (avoid, ask, tell, and demand) and four circumstances (public, work, and school, friends and family, and intimate relationships) in which we set boundaries. You can read that post here.  What Are Material Boundaries? Material boundaries are the boundaries you set when you invest in other people. Breaking that down a bit further, material boundaries are set when you decide whether or not to lend or give something to someone. The primary currencies involve time, …

Four By Four: Protecting Your Physical Boundaries

Four “Levels” of Boundary Setting Behavior: Today I’m going to be providing scripts for setting physical boundaries. Before I start, I’ll go over the four different levels of boundary setting behaviors, and four common sorts of social situations where people will be expected to set boundaries. This information will also be used when we talk about material, mental, and emotional boundaries. We all have to set boundaries in multiple places in our lives, and depending on our circumstances, we might set them in one of four ways:  Softest: Avoiding to set the boundary: Avoiding is when we set the boundary …

On Boundaries: 13 Ways Gaslighting Crosses Boundaries

What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting describes a set of behaviors by people and organizations that cause someone who interacts with them to question their own information, feelings, thoughts, and body sensations. It is usually part of a pattern of abuse. Gaslighting helps abusive people and organizations control their victims by causing them to question their own thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. in a way that makes them feel “crazy”. The term comes from the 1944 movie Gaslight starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. In the movie, Boyer’s character attempted to make Bergman’s character think she was “crazy” by turning the gas lights …

Patreon Membership Tier Updates

Today I totally revamped my Patreon membership tiers from top to bottom. In short: I  release all videos, audio files, and articles to the public after a one-week Patron-exclusive period. Also, I encourage Patrons and non-Patrons to join the Out Of My Mind Facebook group. The group provides a moderated space to safely discuss the issues with living with mental health challenges in an unjust world.  Patrons at the $1 level and above will get same-day access to videos, audio, and articles. I will also credit all Patrons in the closing credits of all full-length videos and on the website.  …

Chain of Events: How DBT’s Behavioral Chain Analysis Can Help YOU

How to Do a Behavioral Chain Analysis (The Simple Version) Reminder: A Behavioral Chain Analysis should be done in between crises when you are relatively calm and relax. Each part should be completed in excruciating detail. Lots and lots and lots and lots of detail.

On Boundaries: No Is A Complete Sentence

An important safety note:  Be Cautious using the advice in “No is a complete sentence” in situations of domestic violence or other significantly unsafe situations. Always put your personal safety first.  No Is A Complete Sentence We are trained not to say no to others. Many of us are also trained not to take no for an answer. This can cause significant problems in our relationships as we leap over consent issues in our efforts to get to a yes. No is a complete sentence when you say it to someone else. It is also a complete sentence when someone …