The Four “F”s of Fear: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

What Are the Four “F”s of Fear? Those of us who live with PTSD and other anxiety disorders live with frequent, sometimes constant, fear. “The tiger in the tent” refers to the belief, deeply held in our basal ganglia, that we are in immediate danger. We use the four “f”s of fear to help us understand what our “lizard brain” is trying to do.  The “lizard brain” lives in the basal ganglia at the base of our skull.  It holds instinct, nightmare, habit, and fear, among other things. Mostly, it holds the things we do “without thinking”. The fearful lizard …

Parenting: The Case Of The Dirty Rotten Little Milk-Spiller

The Case of the Dirty Rotten Little Milk-Spiller Once upon a time, there were three parents. Or grandparents. Or other adults in charge of a child. You decide. Each of the parents was asked to deal with the (dirty rotten) little milk-spiller, Kiddo.  setting the scene for the Little MIlk-Spiller: Parent is talking on the phone. It’s an important call, and the person on the other end of the phone is important to them.  Relaxing in a chair in the carpeted living room, Parent isn’t paying close attention to Kiddo. Kiddo is suspiciously quiet. No one else is at home.

A Ridiculously Basic Primer on Consent Culture

What is Consent Culture? At its simplest, consent culture is a culture in which asking for consent is normalized and encouraged in popular culture. This includes many parts of life, not just sexual consent. We should treat asking consent as normal in lots of activities. These include, but aren’t limited to:

Executive Function, Parenting, and Your Kid’s Messy Room

“Your Kid’s Messy Room” is part of the Executive Function Series of Videos and the first of the series that deals with parenting implications.   Your goal is to make cleaning a room a task that a child understands and can generally do and to make it far less stressful for both of you. Having a backup adult (like another parent or friend) is useful for this only if they understand the goal.  For review, go to Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Also, you can use the advice on helping your child with their messy room for other things …

Marry, Shag, Kill: A Relationship Metaphor

What is Marry, Shag, Kill, Anyhow? Known under several names, including “Marry, F*ck, Kill”, “Marry, Snog, Kill”, and “Marry, Kiss, Kill”, it is a game meant to rate the relative attractiveness and/or suitability of celebrities or fictional characters. Usually, one person will list three characters (say, Harry Potter, Hermione, and Ron Weasley). You would “force” choose which one you would “marry”, which you would “shag”, and which you would “kill” (or get rid of).

Executive Function Pt. 3: Forming Habits

Executive Function Pt. 3: Forming Habits For part 1 go here and part 2 go here. Now we move on to forming habits. Toward the end of this article will be links to this information in other forms.  The Parts of YOur Brain Involved in Forming habits When you form a habit, you move information from your pre-frontal cortex to other parts of your brain, especially your basal ganglia. Your pre-frontal cortex is the newest part of your brain, genetically. It is also the most vulnerable to stress and other issues. Because of this, it is important, whenever we can, …

Executive Function Part 2: Hacks and Workarounds

You have waited long enough. Part 1 covered definitions and causes of issues with executive function. Without further ado, here’s executive function part 2:  Executive Function Part 2: Hacks and Workarounds   I hesitated to use “hacks” here because I don’t want you to think I’m not taking executive function dysfunction lightly.  Finally decided that it was a short and plain way to say “stuff that works” and decided to keep it.  If you’ve been following along with this series, you know that I am relying heavily on the research of Adele Diamond to bring these ideas to you. All …

Executive Function Pt 1: What Is It?

Executive Function Pt 1: What Is It? As always, busy life and my own executive function issues prevent same-day article and video publication. First, watch the video. It comes complete with my standard fidgeting with my fingers and rambling as I wander off my outline and back on again. Let me know what you think in the comments here or on YouTube.  Executive Function: Definition and Explanation Executive function has a lot of definitions.  The best one I’ve found came from an article in Annual Review of Psychology written by Adele Diamond (click on the link to read the entire …